What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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