i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
