I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
