Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
