i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
