I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Just invented taco cereal.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
