who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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