Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
