Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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