I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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