Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize