Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
