Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
