So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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