Sorry, I don't speak sober.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
