Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
