And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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