This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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