I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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