absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Randomize
