You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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