omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm at about main and main street
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
