I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
