just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Randomize