The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just want to make out with him forever
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize