I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
