Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
