Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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