I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
