Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
