I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
