doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize