I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
