i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
