he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
