I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
