For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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