yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
My pussy is not your playground.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
