the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
