My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
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