Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
