pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
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