Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
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