Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
