The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
