The maid of honor just puked.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
