Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
