i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Congratulations! We have a period
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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