I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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