Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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