why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize