He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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