Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize