worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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