what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
