I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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