I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
