No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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