I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
