Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
