it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
